It’s Wednesday – Hump Day Hook Day – time to whizz round the web looking for excerpts of fiction. Believe me there are some doozies. Click on the pretty picture to get to the list.
Still here! You’re brave.
Okay – Sir Patrick FitzRoy, very much the worse for wear, has woken up and is being chaffed by Phelim, his valet, who knows something that Pat has forgotten about.
Lord Patrick FitzRoy levered himself up into a sitting position. Far from being the handsome devil that Aubrey had described, he looked exactly as a man would who has been dragged home, dead drunk, by a crossing sweeper. He was still dressed in the tattered and stained remnants of evening dress, but his shirt had been partially torn from his body and a raw graze on one shoulder had bled freely. He looked down at himself in bewilderment.
“Disgusting, aren’t you?” Phelim commented. “Yacoub Khan is shocked to the core. You know how Mohammedans feel about drunkenness.”
“I’ve seen him high as a kite,” Pat muttered defensively.
“But that wasn’t alcohol, as you well know, shame to you.”
Pat growled then, as his eyes began to focus, he peered at the wreckage around him.
“Why is my room such a mess?”
“Because you, my lord and master, woke up and took a little walk earlier. We could hear you banging about but we could also hear what you were saying and what you were doing so we decided not to interfere.” Phelim winced as his master hiccupped. “Don’t start that again. Why don’t you go down to the stable yard and stand under the pump? Almost anyone would be pleased to work the handle for you. Honest to God, it’s more than a body can bear. It’ll all have to stop when you’re married!”
“What are you wittering on about, Phelim?”
“Ha! It doesn’t surprise me that you’ve forgotten. Read this. It’s the reason for all your celebrations.”
Early stag night, I bet. So what will Pat think about his impending nuptials? Find out next week.